my hair is almost bra strap length, but when i look into the mirror, this is what i see.
yes, it’s true. i stand in the mirror daily, for hours on end, staring at my hair and seeing nothing but a cesar ya’ll.
please pour out some likka for my strands. put your 40s in the air, wave ‘em like you just don’t care, and pour it out for jah girl kurly!!! i got the ‘rexia bad!
what’s up with this?! i mean, for really? what’s my problem? during my “natural journey” i’ve always wanted to be at my goal, and my goal is bra strap length. but i cannot, for the life of me, seem to get past the fact that i big chopped 6 years ago.
one obsession leads to another; leave the relaxer and then have nightmares that our natural hair is not growing.
is that what this is? a new kind of twist on the “black woman’s” obsession with her hair?! i don’t care about rain or sweat or even the wind anymore (i laugh at the thought that the wind on my freshly done hair was once my ENEMY), now it seems my enemy is growth, or the imaginary reverse of it.
my eyes are bamboozling me ya’ll. what is going on? why does my hair still feel so short? it is this deep wretching feeling that many black women (i’ve heard white women call this hair dysmorphia) have, but many would never admit to, that deep down, we are even stunned ourselves that our hair is *gasp* DOWN OUR BACKS?
after your first perm , the idea of hair “down” anything is foreign. okay i lied. it does go down; down your back and on the floor from breaking and lack of knowledge on how to properly care for and grow your hair.
are we shocking and awing ourselves?
we all know that SILKY straight hair has long been considered by many black women to be the ultimate crowning glory. i’m farrrrr past the silky thing – years ago. so, that’s not it, for me, my glory lies in the length. so when i press my hair out, or pull it to see it’s true length, then why does my crown seem so…rusty?
why is it that, when my hair is in it’s afro state i’m in love and lust with my kinky, coily strands? but when stretched or straight, it’s luster falls short of the peak high i get when i see it curly and bouncy?
there has to be more to this, so i have to do some research and report back.
all i know is, i’ve got to get over this hairarexia. it’s not good for the soul. :(
can you relate?
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I’m not hairaxeic as much since i cut the relaxed hair off a month ago, but my hair grows really fast, usually about 1/2 to 3/4” a month. I thought it was because im mixed with white and chinese, but i did Alot of research & found all hair types grow the same rate. It just varies depending on diet, health status etc etc.
And just be patient, hair grows grows and grows, even when ur awake, and it can grown down to ur knees if u take care of it well enough.
So glad I came across this post. Everything written is exactly how I feel.
I’ve been natural for 8 yrs but didn’t really began paying attention to/caring for my natural until about 6 or 7 months ago. My hair is a little past BSL and still, it doesn’t seem long enough to me. Hate the feeling.
Bella!!! I really understand what you’re going through!! I’ve been natural for about 2 years (with many mistakes in between) and I am currently Chin length in the front and a shoulder length in the back. This was the length that I had back when I was relaxing and there are so many people around me that think that it’s impossible for a black woman to have anything longer than shoulder length. I hear this and I want my hair to grow faster so I can prove them wrong! LOL in the back of my mind, I hope that this isn’t my terminal length and once I get past the shoulder, I’m SURE that I’m going to want even longer hair. Hopefully I’ll be satisfied one of these days. :)
lakishia you are right, our hair DOES grow the same rate. any differences would be so slight that it does not even matter at that point.
i got to the length i am in 2.5 years – from shoulder length to almost bra strap now – and that’s more than average.
and one would think i can see my length for what it is and though i see it i still don’t “see it.” know what i mean?
i’m pretty sure there are some slight historical/cultural effects at play here – though as shallow as this issue may be.
I can relate sometimes it seems like our (Black women) hair isn’t growing on the same rate as everyone else’s just because we (Black women & men) put that image into our own heads. It’s not other races that go around saying we can’t grow our hair they learn that from hearing Black people say it time and time again.
To address the article yes, I can relate. Sometimes I feel as though it will take years to grow my hair and I’m in my first year of naturalness. I see images of Black women with their long afros and I ask them how long it takes them to grow that long? Most always reply with over 3-6 years. That right there puts this image into my mind that it takes our hair forever to grow, even though that may not necessarily be true. When you think of it most women of other races have taken years to grow their hair as well and newly naturals had to start all over by cutting/shaving their hair off. What some might stress as a “time – length” issue is really just a natural span that takes most women of different races time to grow as well. Remember no one hair grows overnight.
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