i’ve often sat in interesting, long, hair-focused, conversations with transitioners or women thinking about going natural or even those who recently big chopped only to learn by the end of the conversation that they were heavily contemplating going back to being relaxed. while i’m not 100% anti-relaxer or 100% pro-natural for everyone, i do know where i stand on the “too nappy” issue for myself.
my hair has been described as all kinds of things and for the most part it has been called bad hair. i often got good hair (not that i consider this anything close to a compliment at all, instead mostly a back handed slap in the face) after i learned how to moisturize my hair, but when i was subjected to unwarranted and unwelcomed comments about my hair during my relaxed days, the comments often were reflective of the ignorant thought patterns that still affect our community today.
i understand that women with kinky hair often have fears of going natural; been there, done that. i get it completely. being natural is a looking glass of oneself and proves to you, even if you’ve conviced yourself that your relaxed hair is your “true” hair, that your real look, your real self, is you with what you were born with. that’s a big pill to swallow for some.
for many, the reality of accepting kinky hair is just too much. it’s “too much” to go natural because their hair is just too nappy, just too bad, and would be better if only they had type 3 curls. as much as we’ve made leaps and bounds in the mental fight against hair hate, we have to be honest here, we still have a long way to go.
the main reason kisforkinky was started was to showcase women with the kinkest of hair textures and the flyest of styles. kinky hair is not limiting in look and style, nor does it hinder one’s fashion or beauty despite what we are told by the media, your mama or your daddy.
and though i won’t go into my heavy thoughts on this issue just yet; saving that for later, i have to ask you: how do you feel about the “too nappy” sentiment? have you heard it from other women or even said it yourself, that your hair is “just too nappy” for natural life?