last year, naomi campbell’s cat was let out of the bag and it wasn’t pretty. her broken off and damaged hair was exposed to the world and women far and wide cringed in horror at the graphic photos which showed her non-existent edges that had been ripped out of their follicles and the remaining hair on her edges which look like they would follow suite and soon to go to shreds.
after years of runway walking the super model’s strands, unlike her physical appearance, showed shocking evidence of having been obviously treated like the red head stepchild – present but ignored like the little boy under the stairs that was harry potter – that no one apparently stopped to offer advice to. many wondered, that even if she herself didn’t know any better, “why didn’t someone tell her or help her?! where are her friends?! who let’s someone walk around like that?!”
when i’m out and about i often run into lots of damaged aka jacked up heads of hair – relaxed and natural; kinky, wavy and curly. that’s the nicest way i can describe the significant matting, brittle, dry, broken off and under moisturized hair that’s being smothered under a wig or glued on weave tracks that i’ve been first hand witness to.
because of what i share here on the blog, in some cases, especially the most severe ones, it takes a lot for me to not run up to the women i see who probably are at wits end with their hair and say, “i have some tips! i may be able help you.” but i don’t. i don’t because, well, one, they are strangers and two, i run the risk of getting told off because such a conversation would put anyone, including myself, on the defensive.
i’m the kind of person who will tell you that you have a booger or that your fly is unzipped, but when it comes to hair, unless i can start a conversation about their natural journey and then get the the conversation over to online resources, i usually mind my own. i just speak “no evil.” women can be really sensitive about their hair, i should know, i’m one too, and i used to be that unhealthy natural. so i, more often than not, just let it be when i’m witness to damaged, jacked up hair and when i do find a good opportunity to bring up the blog or youtube or other natural hair websites and resources i do. if not i just keep it all to myself. hmmm, maybe i need to do better?
but what about you? when you see a woman with damaged hair do you offer advice or do you speak no evil? have you ever tried to offer advice and it backfired on you? what happened when you lent out your natural hair olive branch? was it welcomed or did you get it back broken? do tell?
MORE RELATED KINKY READING:
- is natural hair typing a necessary evil?
- dear fairy model mother: what’s your one key piece of advice?
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I’ve only intervened with my little sister who relaxes her hair. I noticed her hair hair was looking thin and shorter when it used to be thicker and longer. I introduced her to some healthy hair techniques I found for relaxed hair. She has warmed up to the idea and now is a huge fan of olive oil for her hair, uses less heat, moisturizes more, seals her ends, protecitve styles via bunning, etc. Her hair looks much better now and is retaining length well. I’m glad, she’s super happy and my Mom is too (less money for touch-ups cause my little sis is stretching her relaxers). Of course I let her know that should she choose to go natural, her big siss is ready and willing to help. :)
Otherwise, I wouldn’t intervene unless asked for tips/advice.
I’ve been pissed about people making comments about my hair. Mostly because I don’t have a strictly office job and I spend part of my time outside in the elements i.e. wind, rain, heat ect. I may fix my hair in the morning but it’s harder to keep your hair looking good all day as someone who sits in a chair in a room with ac. So just because you see someone’s hair looking jacked up at that moment, doesn’t mean it’s always that way. I’m natural but I usually wear wigs to work. People are always asking me to wear my ‘real’ hair at work but I don’t want to have to worry about it and I want to protect it from exposure.
After becoming natural, I wanted to spread the word near and far,only to realize a lot of black ladies ain’t trying to hear about The Natural Wonder that is our glorious hair. My sister is balding and she never gains length from having micro-braids for years, as well as constantly relaxing and coloring. I mentioned going natural to rectify this and she FREAKED. So now I keep my mouth shut when I come across jacked hair. I encounter mostly thinning and balding relaxed heads in my family.
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