It’s Not You, It’s Me…

many of us have a love-love relationship with out hair stylist. in many cases, they are like our weekend girlfriends that we get dressed-up for and excited to see a couple times a month affording us the ability to enjoy a good conversation over relaxing shampoo and steam treatments that makes the trust we give them with out hair even stronger.

in college, i had a hairstylist that i loved but today wouldn’t let touch my hair with a ten foot pole. granted her skills may be off the charts now when it comes to natural hair, but back then, her strongest suit was weave, relaxers and anything other than natural. i remember the sight of her edges one long saturday at the salon after i finally got into the shampoo chair after she reached over to start massaging my scalp. as i squinted up, i noticed that they were thin and wispy and i immediately wondered if that’s how my hair was going to end up. i didn’t stay around to find out because even though i loved my hair when she did it, i was also contemplating going natural and i didn’t think she could do my hair any longer. also, saving up on my college budget to see her every few weeks was becoming expensive and was cutting into my cup noodle’s funds. our break up was a hit and quit. she was a nice woman, but i just couldn’t do it any longer. i just never made another appointment after i saw her edges.

for many of us, our hair is our crown, and to let someone play in it professionally at the sake of your sanity is more than a bit much. if you are feeling doubt, it’s time to let go; yes, even if you know you are going to hurt your weekend girlfriend’s feelings by leaving her. that emotional tie you feel to the salon you’ve been going to/wanted to love/your best friend recommended needs to be broken, stat! if your stylist is not giving you want you want or you’re slowly going bald at her hands and your expense, it’s time to walk away and here are five signs that the relationship as been long over.

she never listens to you

this is a classic case of “i know better than my client.” you’ll walk into he salon with an idea, picture or overall style in your mind, excitedly plop down in the chair and before you can say kelly clarkston three times fast, your stylist has convinced you that it’s a bad idea and that she has something much better in mind. don’t get us wrong, her looking out for you avoiding crazy hairstyles is one thing, but if she always insists on doing things her way, it may be time to throw the deuces.

you have her undivided attention…sometimes

texting, talking on the phone or deep into conversations with other stylists means she’s not focused on your hair 100%. if it’s illegal to walk and text in some cities, why would it be okay for her to text or answer calls between swipes of color or a hardening protein treatment on your hair? ever been left under the dryer so long that the tops of your ears are crispier than a piece of fried chicken? got a crick in your neck and blood rush to your brain because your head has been hanging backwards over that annoyingly painful shampoo bowl so long that all the conditioner has evaporated from your hair? you might be dealing with stylist attention deficit.

the end result is all wrong

listen, we know you are a nice girl who always says nice things and never hurts feelings. but if you go sit in the car to cry after a hairstyle, not only do you need your money back, you need your backbone as well. don’t let your stylist experiment on your head. bad hairstyles immediately equal a full refund and prompt and rapid attention from your stylist to fix the problem. foil my hairstyle once, shame on you. foil it twice…we’ll you get the picture.

not wrong but not quite right either

do you have that one friend who, whenever she comes from the hair stylist, something is just not right? you can’t really put your finger on it but you know something is off with her new look? or maybe that’s you. you anxiously show your friends your new do and the responses are slow and gentle and go something like, “it’s nice” or “that’s different”, anything but, “that’s so pretty!” or “gorgeous!”. granted, not everyone is going to always love your hairstyle, but if you get up from the chair constantly feeling like your hairstyle brought in the bronze when it should have been the gold, then your stylist might have a case of the “can’t get rights” and it’s time to move on.

you’re taking out a second mortgage to keep up your look

this one is the hardest to do because in this case your stylist is doing everything right. spot on cuts, colors, ahead of the trend hair treatments and you even get to see what fly clothes she’s wearing when you get there so you can chop it up over fashion but deep down your are dying and your credit score is suffering as well. she is truly your sister from another mother. but skipping out paying bills just to keep your hair in check is lame, lame, lame. if you can’t afford your hair stylist, it’s time to break up. having cute hair and jacked up credit at the expense of a custom services and 45 minutes at the salon is never the life. let it go. downgrade the services or become a do-it-yourself girl all together so you can really afford that house you want to buy in a few years.

ending your one-sided relationship with your hairstylist now could save you money and lots of headaches and hair down the road. it’s not worth sacrificing your hair for a relationship that’s not mutually beneficial. if the relationship isn’t working it’s time to end it if your hair and sanity are suffering. you’ll thank yourself for it in the end.

Photo Credit