“My daughter is 4 and very tender-headed (although not sure she is any more difficult than any other 4 year old). Through the years I have taught myself how to braid and twist but now since she is older she won’t sit. I wash her hair once a month and co wash it usually every other week. I use water and conditioner as a detangler and it helps a little. The braids stay in for a couple of weeks. During hair care, I try to make it into a game, watch movies, let her play in hair stuff, come her barbie head, give her lots of breaks. Any tips are very much appreciated? Also, know of any how to sites to learn more easy styles for her?” – Sharla
Hey girl, I feel your pain! And speaking of pain, don’t fret about your daughter being tender-headed. Turns out, a tender head is a common issue and it typically sticks with a person into adulthood. It sounds like you are doing your best to be gentle, which is the best thing you can do (short of giving her a shot of local anesthesia during hair styling sessions)! Also, it sounds like your problem may be more of a restless 4-yr old (very typical), rather than a child in pain from hair combing. All of the things you’ve listed to try and make those sessions easier are really great, so keep doing them! Here are a few more things you can try out, a few I currently do with my own toddler girl and a few I’ve heard about.
First, let’s address making combing your little one’s natural hair easier: [click to continue…]
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“I’m 4.5 months pregnant and my hair is looking fuller & thicker than ever (thanks to prenatal vitamins) and also growing faster than I can handle. Do you have any advice on how to care for hair during pregnancy, and low maintenance natural styling tips for pregnant ladies with waning energy? I cannot keep rocking this sad bun and it’s even sadder (but very long) alternate the pony tail.” – Traci
First of all, congrats on the pregnancy! It’s a wonderful experience that a woman will never fully understand unless she’s been there.
As for myself, well… I’ve been there! TWICE as I’m currently going through my second pregnancy (that’s me in the photo above). I know first hand that with dragging energy and a growing belly, it becomes increasingly difficult to carve out the time for higher maintenance hair care and styling so I have a few tips for you that you may find helpful.
My dish on natural hair care/maintenance during pregnancy: [click to continue…]
“I don’t know if this sounds strange or not, but I’m natural and I don’t really like my hair. I don’t dislike it, let me say that, but I’m not in love with it…yet? Is this normal? My hair is really nappy, like really as in no curls, nothing and I want to feel fierce about it, but I just don’t right now. I wear it with semi pride I guess, but sometimes I wish it was just softer and looser. I feel like a fraud for reading this site. I’m supposed to be proud, right? I feel bad for even thinking this.” -Tasha
often i’m asked by new transitioners in secret, hushed conversations, huddled back in the corner of bookstores, living rooms and anywhere else someone decides to sneek over and brave the question of, “how long did it take for you to come to terms with your hair?” the person posting the questions immediately looks me straight in the eyes after the last word slips from their lips, staring intently waiting to see how i’ll respond. will i be judgmental? can i even relate? and at that moment you can see that glimmer of hope that quickly passes over their face, hoping that they are not alone.
this is such a loaded question for me with an answer that’s not as simple as it would seem. however, for the sake of this conversation, let’s just say about three to four years. it was about that many years before i really, truly, 100%, bonafide, you-can-kick-rocks-if-you-don’t-like-it, loved my hair. i always disclaim this timeline by pointing out the fact that [click to continue…]
“i really want to love shea butter but it sits on top of my hair and makes it so heavy and waxy. it completely ruins my hair styles and the style i had planned then turns into a bun until i can wash my hair again. what’s going on?” – grace (not pictured)
when i first went natural, i flocked to products like shea butter because it was touted as the holy grail product that all naturals should own. like you i wanted it to work and like you, it left my fine and coarse strands coated and heavy – it was like a dry, heavy looking jerri curl. not cute. but that was back then, when i knew little about natural hair in comparison to now.
what’s happening to you is common and there is an easy work-around, you just need to know what you are working around first which leads me to my point, did you know that shea butter is the [click to continue…]
“my hair is often dry when i wake up in the morning. well, actually everything on me is dry. i have excema and very dry skin and my hair is dry but gets really dry at night. is there any way i can combat this? – b (not pictured)
dry hair or skin is not the bee’s knees. it’s frustrating and inconvenient to say the least. we have to slather on products just to get our skin to behave and if we rush through this process, hours later we begin the reap the rewards of hasty work with signs of ashyness and or dry hair.
if you live in a dry state with little to no daily humidity like i do, or have harsh, cold and dry winters, then you can combat dryness with a little help from our friend, water, in its humidified aka condensed form. by combining water, a lavender-based essential oil mix and rose water, you can go to bed relaxed and wake up, steamy and with supple natural hair. sounds like a plan to me. 
b, to start combating your dry hair at night, first i highly suggest that you pick up this nifty, pink [click to continue…]
“i recently big chopped like a month or so ago so i’m relatively new to this whole thing. my problem is that my hair is super thick but my scalp is super tender. combing my hair is an absolute nightmare for me! do you have any advice for how to soften up my hair so it is easier to comb?” – g (not pictured)
aw, g, you’re a tenderoni. and no, not the bobby brown kind either. i used to be uber tender-headed as a child though now not so much though i do have my moments. my sister on the other hand is so tender headed that she hardly lets anyone touch her hair including me. and i try to avoid it anyway. styling her hair is straight out of color purple. i mean, you simply look at her head hard and she starts to wince. to get around her tender ways however, she follows a few strict hair softening rules to keep her scalp and herself calm.
first, be sure to [click to continue…]
