“I don’t know if this sounds strange or not, but I’m natural and I don’t really like my hair. I don’t dislike it, let me say that, but I’m not in love with it…yet? Is this normal? My hair is really nappy, like really as in no curls, nothing and I want to feel fierce about it, but I just don’t right now. I wear it with semi pride I guess, but sometimes I wish it was just softer and looser. I feel like a fraud for reading this site. I’m supposed to be proud, right? I feel bad for even thinking this.” -Tasha
often i’m asked by new transitioners in secret, hushed conversations, huddled back in the corner of bookstores, living rooms and anywhere else someone decides to sneek over and brave the question of, “how long did it take for you to come to terms with your hair?” the person posting the questions immediately looks me straight in the eyes after the last word slips from their lips, staring intently waiting to see how i’ll respond. will i be judgmental? can i even relate? and at that moment you can see that glimmer of hope that quickly passes over their face, hoping that they are not alone.
this is such a loaded question for me with an answer that’s not as simple as it would seem. however, for the sake of this conversation, let’s just say about three to four years. it was about that many years before i really, truly, 100%, bonafide, you-can-kick-rocks-if-you-don’t-like-it, loved my hair. i always disclaim this timeline by pointing out the fact that [click to continue…]
“i just found this site and i absolutely LOVE it. all of the sisters on here are beautiful and all of the cute natural hair style’s i’ve been seeing are making me want to switch up my hair even more! i currently have a perm, and i’ve been contemplating going natural for a long time now. i crave a beautiful full natural head of kinks but i don’t want to have to cut off all of my hair to get it. do you guys have any transition advice you can give me, or any ideas about how i can go from perm to natural without that dramatic change? any help or advice you guys could give me would be great!” – kashmir (not pictured)
thanks kashmir, i’m glad you like the site! my goal is always to inspire and provoke women to achieve their best and to believe that their hair is just as fly as the next chic’s so welcome to the family! 
not everyone who goes natural big chops. i didn’t. the way i got around the big chop was by wearing a sew-in weave. i washed my hair every week and added oils and butters to my roots to seal in moisture. i let my hair dry overnight and repeated this process for about a year and a few months before i big chopped. my hair was healthy, vibrant and collar bone length when i finally cut the relaxed hair off.
big chopping isn’t for everyone and it was not for me at that time in my life. i will say this though, [click to continue…]
“What’s your advice on getting my hair to stop breaking…I wash with sulfate free shampoo once a month and co wash once a week. I use coconut oil, lacio lacio leave-in and roller set and flat iron once a week – I pass over the hair one time to make it straight…I do a protein aphogee or redken extreme protein treatment – I just trimmed all of my ends….and I still loose 10-15 hairs everyday 
in your experience is there anything I should do to stop breakage in its tracks…?” – elaina (not pictured)
elaina, elaina, where do i start? first i’m going to ask that you please step away from what you are doing right now and let’s examine what’s going on. you have a whole lot happening in your routine and it’s very evident to me why your hair is breaking. you are committing one of the cardinal natural hair sins – fighting with your hair and not listening to it – yes it talks 
. don’t think so? well, let’s examine what’s going on in your routine so we can pinpoint this breakage. [click to continue…]
| tamara (not pictured) asks:
i’ll get straight to the point. should i straighten my natural hair for interviews? i have been wearing my hair in it’s natural state for almost three years now, and i love it. recently i have begun interviewing for internships. i’ve had 8 thus far, and no cigar–which is highly unusual for internship placement. i’m asking for feedback and am gettting lovely reponses. however, that does not get me a placement. a sista’ in my program lovingly told me that the problem is my hair. i know she very well might be right. i think before the scissors are in hand, all naturals consider the biases they may have to encounter. do you think it is wise that i straighten my hair until i get a job, then revert to natural once i have passed probation? i’d appreciate your and other bellas’ thoughts on this matter. thanks! |
great question tamara! though not a new one, i’ve seen this debate beat until the cows come home. and now, like you, let me get straight to my point or answer: NO you should not straighten your hair for interviews and here’s why. [click to continue…]
| patricia (not pictured) asks:
I recently had a blow out, not my first one but first in over a year. Everything was fine, and then I got braids to go back to school and I didn’t wash my my hair (I had only done the blow out 1 week prior) I just had the stylist spray a water/leave on conditioner mix on my hair. My hair started to wave, but definitely did not go back to my actual curl pattern. I just took out the braids (after having them 4 weeks) and the roots (the 1/2 inch coming out of my scalp) are back to my natural curl pattern and the tips (about 2 inches) are looking like they just came out of a twist out, but the middle of my hair shaft (2-4 inches) is still straight! A lot of my natural hair friends are recommending to wait it out for about 2-4 weeks and see what happens, but I am beginning to experience breakage, which I know could be tied to the fact that I just took out braids.
I really don’t want to cut it down to the roots, but right now it is very difficult to manage with the 3 textures and try to manage the breakage issue. Do you agree with my friends? Will the press wear off in another few weeks? If so how can I manage until then? If not is time to cut it off or can I do braids as I try to grow out some more hair before I big chop?
|
i’m so sorry you are experiencing damage. i know first hand how frustrating and sad this can be as i’ve had many hair disasters over my life time including heat damage.
even though i cannot see your hair, i’m willing to bet that you do have heat damage and contrary to popular belief, there is no way to wait it out, pour on apple cider vinegar or do anything to reverse the damage – the permanent breaking of the hair bonds. once the damage is done it is done.
after washing your hair a few times you may have noticed a slight tightening back up of your curls, but if your hair does not revert immediately after washing out a blow or press out, then you have more than likely damaged your hair as there is no natural “waiting period” for hair to magically become undamaged. [click to continue…]
these are the certifiable “again & again” top “must have” hair products for naturals and transitioners.
this list will be updated after a poll at the first half of the year.
the list also includes where to find products so that you don’t have to go search for them.
if you are a newbie, you almost can’t go wrong with anything on this list!
be sure to share your experiences with these c♥veted products!
(!!!) = you should at least try this
(O) = may be easier to find online vs. store
(N) = natural / organic
(G) = can be found in local grocery store
(G*) = specialty grocery/health store like whole foods
(S) = sold in salon stores like ulta, or sally, etc.
(H) = use alone or add to homemade moisturizing mix
c♥veted pre-poos
- extra virgin olive oil (N/G/H) !!!
- virgin coconut oil (N/G/H) !!! buy here
c♥veted shampoos
- aubrey organics honey suckle rose (O/N/G*) !!! buy here
- aubrey organics white camillia (O/G*) !!! <buy here
- devacare no poo (O/N/S) buy here
- giovanni 50:50 hydrating clarifying shampoo (O/N/G8*) !!! buy here
- trader joe’s norish spa shampoo (N/G*) !!! buy here
- trader joe’s tea tree tingle with peppermint and eucalyptus (N/G*) buy here
- j/a/s/o/n natural jojoba scalp balancing shampoo (N/G*) buy here
- elasta QP creme conditioning shampoo (S) buy here
- abba pure moisture shampoo (N/G*) buy here
- kinky curly come clean (N/O/G*) buy here
[click to continue…]
