A younger version of me walked through a popular mall on the Maryland outskirts of DC. It was my first year of college and I was just beginning to juggle my job at an independent bookstore with school work. My world was rife with a tremendous sense of freedom and fear: fear of revealing insecurities, disappointing others, and failing. At this time, my style of dress–in conjunction with the hang time on my locs–probably made me appear older and less of a DMV native (and more like the long lost member of Lost Boyz; Neo-soul hadn’t blown up quite yet). Needless to say, I garnered some attention among the mostly Black and Latino shoppers. (“What’s his religion?”, “Where is he from?”, “What is he?”)
As I strolled passed a thirty-something year old Black woman with her teenage daughter, my radar went off: I had attracted her attention. I knew it—she was gonna holla. Now, ladies, I have nothing against a woman approaching a man she finds attractive but it’s often the approach that dictates the likelihood of success. So, as I was saying, she was gonna holla…and holla she did.
When I was within earshot, I heard her say to her daughter, [click to continue…]
I joke with my women friends. I tell them that I’ve set trends — trends for which I’ve gotten no credit and had no intention of setting. Big companies have scouts come out to study, reproduce, and profit from my hairstyles, clothing, and lifestyle choices. While some friends consider this as a possibility, others dismiss the c-o-n-spiracy theory; remember In Living Color? Nonetheless, we laugh about it and they poke at me in an attempt to puncture my supposedly “overinflated ego.” It’s all in fun.
But truthfully, I passively study and predict trends for fun. For example, in 2007, I recorded a song with Asheru of the Boondocks, Raheem Devaughn, and a few other lyricists in which I predicted the return of the box fade.
just when you think you’ve seen it all. just when you think the days of showboating your racism à la mel gibson were all but over or at least kept to the confines of “off the internet!”, the swedish go and shut the hate party down and out do everyone – within the last 30 days at least – with a cake. a cake in the form of an african woman. an african woman with natural hair pinned into a loc style, a coonish smile and skin that is meant to resemble tar. a minstral version of sarah bartman if you would and in the form of what the swedish also are calling a “nigger cake.”
to up the ante and make the experience oh so real life and vividly reminiscent of colonial settlers, dutch invaders, apartheid and the like, when anyone takes a slice of the cake, the body [click to continue…]
Once upon a time, girls wore short Afros and beads on cornrows. In the 1960s, the Afro was called “a natural” and the style rocked the status quo of American culture. Funny to think that a hairstyle played such a role in shaping the climate of both freedom and fear. To properly label it as a “fashion statement” would have been right on (pun intended) but what exactly was the statement it was making? Does fashion still make statements? And if so, what has it said to you lately?
By my early childhood in 1980′s Chocolate City, playgrounds were populated with ashy kneed girls going down the sliding board who had never met a straightening comb or lye product. My own sisters, who were among the crowd, were both forbidden to perm their hair until the age of 17. I was the youngest child and the only boy, so I paid little attention to this rule. The impact it had on me at the time was minimal…or so it seemed. In fact, the only hairstyle that I was denied (despite my tearful pleas) was a Jheri curl. But for the most part every other style I wished for, the hair genie granted. This is me at the age of 6. [click to continue…]
Steve Harvey wants us to Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, Ralph Banks says we should “marry out“, and now the latest survey conducted by The Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation suggests that we are hyper-career driven workhorses who don’t prioritize marriage. It seems that everyone and their mom has an opinion regarding the so-called plight of the Single Black Woman. When did finding (and keeping) a companion require the help of so many “experts”? It’s no wonder some of us have simply adopted an I-Don’t-Need-A-Man mentality. But for all the PhDs and Relationship Gurus, I found that the most refreshing and no-nonsense gem came from none other than controversial rapper, T.I.
In a recent episode of Vh1′s T.I. & Tiny: The Family Hustle, the couple is discussing T.I.’s upcoming appearances, an unfinished album and many other obligations he needs to meet in an attempt to get his post-prison career back on track. Although clearly stressed, T.I. calmly turns to Tiny, mother of his children and wife of 18 months, and says, [click to continue…]
have you ever been in the presence of women who label themselves everything but a lady? it seems to me that recently “a bitch” is the thing to be. i’ve seen it first hand on too many ocassions. they boldly, proudly and loudly proclaim their high bitch status by saying things like, “i’m that bitch!” as they throw their arms up in the air as their head, hair and hands wildly wail about and puff their chest up as bodldy as a dodo bird. it’s a site to see, let me tell you. i’m always left wondering, the bitch of what? the bitch of york, the first lady bitch? oh wait that doesn’t go together. the bitch of insanity, your own imaginary island? what?
i don’t take kindly to calling myself or other women socially oppressive names in jest or as a proud badge of some sort, nor do i find it appealing to hear other women label women they may not like as bithes and hoes.
anyway, recently i was in the presence of someone who happened to be singing along to a nicki minaj song. i’m not the biggest minaj fan but i love her quirky fashion sense. let’s put it this way, i know more about what she wore last week than what she sings.
taking me completely by surprise, she proceeded to loudly sing along to the verse of nicki’s new song, “stupid hoe”, that goes a little something like, [click to continue…]
Ok I’m about to come at you from a different angle than may have previously been offered here in the natural hair community…and to the topic at hand, my answer is simple: Who am *I* to judge? From circumcision to ear piercing to nail painting – a few things, of purely cosmetic nature, that parents [...]
“Dear Lola, I don’t need your advice. I just need to vent. I am so sick and tired of my cousin, Kris (names changed), and her “good” hair. Before you get rowdy about my choice of words, let me explain. Kris’s hair is just as nappy as my own hair. However, I call it “good” [...]
Salut Bellas! I hope you had a wonderful holiday and you are ready for 2012. I am very excited to see what this year has to offer and as usual, I am back to blogging about the latest and freshest in African fashions and lifestyle. Which leads me to… A few weeks ago while doing [...]
Hello, my name is Lola, and I am a ratchett TV watcher. Confession: I have watched the “Ridickulous” episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta three times. Bravo’s highest rated reality show has never been short of shock-value. But this particular episode far exceeds the show’s typical finger pointing, wig-snatching and over-the-top drama. I had to watch the episode [...]
if i haven’t said it enough just yet, the holidays are always my favorite time of the year. i’m a holiday baby, so that makes it even more fun; double presents! but what makes it the most nostalgic for me is the time i get to spend with the ones i love. i get all [...]
NBC/AP – A landlord found to have discriminated against a black girl by posting a “White Only” sign at a swimming pool wants a state civil rights commission to reconsider its decision. The Ohio Civil Rights Commission found on Sept. 29 that Jamie Hein, who’s white, violated the Ohio Civil Rights Act by posting the [...]
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